Rain: As close to the Jersey Shore as the Midwest can get.

What can I say about Rain that hasn’t already been said about the State Fair? The only major difference is that at Rain, the animals smell like Axe, instead of pig shit and cows. Where do I start with this place? The location is just weird. Rain is tucked away east of 1st Street in a seedy section of Walker’s Point. On my last visit, as I and the brave souls who were with me approached the entrance, we were delighted to see the “Girls Gone Wild” bus sitting in the parking lot. We knew we had arrived on a special night. What was not special was yet another cover. $5 bucks to get into that motherfucker. As for the layout, I think this place used to be a strip club. It is essentially a large barn with, I am not fucking with you, a octagonal-shaped dance floor in the center. Maybe they used to have UFC fights here or some shit. I also couldn't’t help to notice the multiple disco balls around the place. Nothing spells class at a bar like half a dozen mirrored-balls and a fog machine. As we approached the bar, we were treated to quite a sight. Some asshole was wondering around the bar with a huge bongo drum. My only reaction: The Fuck? I thought that once I got an overpriced drink into my system I would feel better. One thing about the drinks, I ordered a Kettle Redbull, you would think that most entry level bartenders could handle making this drink. She poured Smirnoff and Rock Star into a PLASTIC cup. If you are going to make me pay $5 just to walk in the door, poor my shitty drink into a fucking glass cup. I mean really. Also, I was kind of taken aback when I was forced to surrender my ID with my credit card. How many people walk on their tabs in this shit hole? This reminded me of the two times I had sat in “VIP” at Rain. What a joke. First off, they had no dedicated server in our section, which meant every 20 min or so, a random employee would make sure we didn’t need anything else. They brought out our bottle, with no ice, and plastic cups. Not only were they not glass, they were different sizes. If you are making people pay at least $175 for a bottle, is it too much to ask that we get the same sized cups? Bottom line, it was amateur night. Getting back to last Monday, the crowd was about what you would expect. Basically, it was like being on the Real World/Road Rules Challenge, only in Rain’s case, only have were over 21. The DJ? Don’t ask. Yet another one who can’t just play the fucking music. How many times can you ask “HOWS EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?! LADIES HOW YOU DOING TONIGHT?!” Do what I paid 5 bucks for, and shut the fuck up. And if you are going to interrupt the music every 15 min, at least be a good DJ. I couldn't’t help but laugh half of the night. Maybe it was the crowd, maybe it was the fact that I was actually at Rain. What would my mother say? What if my friends knew I had paid to go here? The final insult came when I closed my tab and realized I was about to pay $38 for 2 “Kettle” Redbulls and 2 Miller Lites. Keep in mind these were not tall drinks. As far as I am concerned, any bar that advertises on KISS FM, is not a bar I want to be seen at.